The first studio pic of Dari was sent by her parents to us for proceeding with wedding alliance.
As I reached a marriageable age, my mother naturally began her search within our own बिरादरी and close relations, seeking not just a bride, but a जीवनसाथी who would understand our family values and grow with us.
It so happened that during this time, my mother and sister had gone to Chandigarh to attend the wedding of my mamaji’s daughter. In those days, weddings were simple yet deeply joyful affairs, everyone gathered under one roof, sleeping on the floor with quilts and blankets, sharing laughter, stories, and warmth late into the night.
One such night, as they all lay down to sleep, my mother suddenly felt someone’s foot touch hers. Startled, she asked, “Who is this?” A soft voice replied, “It’s me… Dari, Lambo -the tall girl.”
The moment passed, but destiny had quietly introduced itself.
The next morning, when my mother saw that same girl in daylight, she was instantly struck by her presence. She had sharp features, a graceful personality, and though she was tall, there was such balance and elegance in her that her height seemed perfectly proportioned. In that very moment, my mother made up her mind, this girl would be her daughter-in-law.
At that time, Dari was still studying, either in high school or early college.
Her grandmother, Baiji, played a significant role. She was deeply inclined toward this alliance and made it very clear that she wished her granddaughter to be married into our family. With affection and firmness, she even said she would not consider any other match for her.
Around me, there were many proposals coming in, from within the extended family and beyond. At that crucial juncture, my Chachaji, S. Inder Jeet Singh an very learned Advocate in the Punjab and Haryana Highcourt Chandigarh who was very close to me and whom I deeply respected, guided me with simple yet profound advice. He said, “Choose the one with whom you can truly build a life. Education, संस्कार, and understanding matter the most.”
He also reminded me that my mother’s happiness lay in seeing me married within our own fold. His words carried weight, not only because of his wisdom, but because of the immense love he had always shown me, often more than his own.
One evening, after much thought, I agreed.
This is the picture I always kept in my Wallet after my Roma Ceremony.
That very night, along with Bibi ji, Papaji, and Ambu, we took a taxi and went straight to Tilak Nagar, to Baiji’s house. With folded hands and warm hearts, we expressed our acceptance of the alliance and asked for something sweet to mark the शुठशुरुआत.
Baiji, overjoyed, immediately prepared a simple yet heartfelt meal, pulao and sent for मिठाई through her other son who lived in the neighborhood. And just like that, without fanfare or delay, the रिश्ता was sealed. Ardaas for Roka was done then and there without taking the consent of the girl Dari and her parents who lived 250 miles away in Ajmer. Communication in those days was limited, often restricted to letters or occasional visits during summer vacations when families would gather again.
Before leaving, my mother gently reminded me, “Take care of her. She is from our own family.” Never I should listen a complaint against her
Baiji, too, said with deep trust, “Being younger in age, She is obedient, hardworking, and bright. Guide her well, and she will stand by you and walk on the footsteps you have laid. She will take care of your home, your responsibilities, and your परिवार.”
Those words proved true.
Life ahead was not without its responsibilities. I had three younger sisters whose marriages had to be arranged. My father, growing old, entrusted me with full authority, knowing I would act with fairness and responsibility. My mother’s health had declined after a stroke, and much of the परिवार का à¤ार came upon my shoulders so Dari shared with me one to one.
Through it all, my wife Dari stood by me, quietly, gracefully, and with immense dedication. Together, we fulfilled our duties. The marriages of my sisters were completed with care and dignity, and the family remained united.
Today, when I look back, I feel grateful, for the trust placed in me, for the guidance of my elders, and for the life partner I was blessed with.
Surrounded by Four sisters arround. We fight, we forgive and we forget. That has been the beauty of life.
Yes, like all human relationships, there may have been moments where I fell short. But I am fortunate to have four loving and affectionate sisters, whose hearts are large enough to forgive and forget. And in the same spirit, I too have learned to let go of differences, sometimes the best way to resolve matters is to remain silent for a while, allowing time to heal what words cannot.
Putting a diamond ring on Dari’s finger
My mom feeding the sweets to Dari
Seeing her mission accomplished, Dari grandmother Bai ji is very satisfied and glad that the family is further strengthen.
A few days later the formal Roka and Ring ceremony was conducted when Dari and her family travelled from Ajmer to Tilak Nagar New Delhi with nice Tea and pakora Party in the presence of near and dear.During our married life spanning over five decades, on many occasions we have fought and at times quiet fiercely. Yet, the very next morning, my mother would remind me from heaven with gentle firmness, “Come what may, you have to take care of my chosen girl” And as if by her blessings, everything would restart fresh, calm and normal once again.
Dari and my mother Savitri Devi enjoying together on the occasion of Karva Chouth
In the end, what remains is not the disagreements, but the bond, the unbreakable thread of family, love, and shared journey.
