My family and our times: My Second Sister

My second Sister Amarjeet Kaur

Amarjit Kaur

There was a lot of enthusiasm in our family now that one more son should be born to complete a pair of sons. A brother to me was the talk of the time. An associate who will live all along in sorrows and pleasures was a must, as desired by the thought of the family. So my mother got pregnant again in 1948. This was a hard pregnancy. She almost lost her life. She delivered a dead male baby – a boy the family was so badly wishing for.

In the process she really got very sick. Her right leg was in swear pain. There was no relief to her from local doctor. We had a family Doctor Jyoti Prashad. He could not help much. A word was sent to my mothers sister Smt Shakuntla Bai who also reached Panipat in no time. On her arrival, It was decided to call Dr Sri Krishan Dhamija the only MBBS doctor who practiced in the whole town of Panipat. He charged an enormous amount fee of Rs 5 for one visit.

Dr Sri Krishan Dhamija was a very learned and renowned doctor. He was tall, fair and looked like an Englishman. He walked and dressed very nicely. Charismatic as he was, words came out from his mouth very softly. He looked as if an angel had arrived from the heaven. So his visit was half treatment. He inspected her thoroughly, took her blood pressure, checked her lungs with a stethoscope touching on her chest and looked into her mouth for throat infection. After thorough scanning her body, he declared that she was suffering from a disease called ‘white leg’ meaning extreme edematous swelling of the leg following childbirth due to thrombosis of the iliofemoral veins. I got these meanings from the research later, but I remember she was in acute pain and was always lying on the bed. Dr Dhamija recommended that she should be immediately taken to Lady Harding Hospital in Delhi.

It was another problem to transport her at a distance of 50 plus miles. There were no ambulances, no vans etc. So my father being an important government functionary talked to a Bus Company Called ‘The Ithad Bus Service Pvt Ltd’ which used to shuttle between Panipat and Delhi and the company was kind enough to help her in transporting the patient.
A special narrow ‘charpaaee’ was custom built and with great difficulty placed on the top of the backside of three-seater part of the bus and was tied by ropes with the handle bars of the backside. The ‘charpaaee’ took three such three-seaters to accommodate itself. A cotton mattress and a plane sheet was placed before my mom was laid on it. Smt Shakuntla Bai and my father S Vas Dev Singh accompanied her to Delhi.

Me and Bhagwant remained in Panipat, my grandmother Karam Devi was made responsible to take care of us. She would give us baths, oil & comb our hair. She would send me to school. She took pains to take care of us, but aunt Smt Shakuntla Bai and my Mom were not happy. They felt the kids have been badly neglected. Their hair were full of head lices. It took a long time for Mom to clean up our hair and all the times she would be unhappy with grandma.

After a month or so, my dad returned with a healthy mom. We all were happy again now. The doctors in Lady Hardinge Hospital that she should restrain from pregnancy in the near future. As there were hardly any family planning modes, she was strictly asked to come to the hospital for any eventuality.

Life carried on in a nice way for some times. My grandmother Karam Devi used two dwellings one in Simla wth uncle Inder Jt Singh and the other in Panipat wth my Dad Vas Dev Singh. It was appropriately decided that she will move to Simla during the summer while in winter she will have her abode in Panipat thus sharing her intimacy equally with the families of both brothers. Her glands(harmless) in the neck were also surgically removed on one side in Simla and on the other side in Panipat Civil Hospital. But such a microscopic division was not understood by me, when Panipat medical facilities were well known as far inferior.

My mother got pregnant fourth time. She was immediately taken to Delhi for a thorough check up. The doctors advised my dad to bring her to the hospital when near to the delivery time. So in the end of July 1950, myself, Bhagwant, Mom and Dad moved temporarily to Delhi. Savitri Devi was admitted to the Lady Harding Hospital in the last week of August. There were signs of leg pain again. But the medical treatment was on the top it, as this being the top Hospital in the country. So everyday my dad will take both the kids by bus and reach Madras Hotel Connaught Place. All the three would walk down through Panchkuan Road for about one Kilometer or so and reach a big iron gate painted red. There was a small window which was controlled by a security guard. We reached well ahead of 4.00 PM. And waited at the gate holding the iron bars. At this time many more people will join us at the gate to see their patient.

At exact 4 ‘O clock, the guard would let all of go in. Lady Hardinge was a big Hospital only for Ladies. We shall enter a verandaha and pass through a couple of zig-zag buildings before a door with an iron net opened to a big Halls where my Mom was admitted. There were about ten beds on the right and ten beds on the left with full of patients on all of them. My Mom’s bed was 3rd or 4th on he heft hand side. I shall just run fast to be near to her ahead of Dad and Bhagwant to be near Mom as quickly as possible. She will hug both of us. It was at this stage I saw a luster in the eyes of my mother full of happiness to see her children. I liked this in her and still remember the flash in her eyes.

My Dad will immediately open up the home cooked food for her and help her eat. She will also turn by turn feed me and Bhagwant. Bhagwant will jump and sit on the bed, while I was hanging around the bed. My dad will also get some Samosa from the shop on Panchkuan Road for my mom. She will not eat much but feed us all. Dad was very fond of eating and would relish the left overs. The time will fly away like this.

One day as we reached, a good news was broken to us, it was a girl, a new addtion to the family. A very cute little and fair looking girl. We all were excited. Everybody in the family was saying that this girl was fair looking as against the two older kids who were darker and wheatish. A fair color is/was very much liked in our society. All of our kiths proudly said as she was born in an English Hospital and with the assistance of English doctors and nurses, her complexion had a bearing of those people. This happened on September 1st 1950.

Ambu was ever in the lap of Shaanti our in-house neighbor

One sunday morning, the family went to "Khail Bazar" Gurdwara Sahib in Panipat and requested the priest to offer an Ardaas (Prayer) for gettng Guru's order from the Grant Sahib. The first word of the Guru's shabad was a guidance to name the child. This time it was 'A'. My Dad as usual decided to decide the name on the basis of this word 'A' after deliberating with in the family and friends. As the name of "Amarjit Kaur" was zeroed down, a final announcement and again a prayer was done. All of us started calling her Ambu a short of Amarjit Kaur.

As is the tradition, my father went to a local Pandit Ji in Panipat to get a 'Janam Kundli' for this new baby girl who the family had named 'Amarjeet Kaur'. The Pandit Ji was aghast to inform that this girl shall not live beyond 16 days. Even if she survived, she will be living a very sick life and would be no more by the tme she is 16 months. Usually the infants lived unhealthy in those days because of unhygienic and dirty environments. We some how believed that this baby is not going to survive for long. After she had crossed those crucial 16 months, my Dad was asked again to enquire about her welfare fro the same Pandit Ji.

This time the Pandit was perhaps tired of him and told my dad that this baby had a very dangerous combination of stars and was bound to under tremendous influence of evil stars and in no case survive after 16 years of age. With this my dad came back and we were relieved till she reached 16 years and perhaps the Pandit Ji got rid of us for his false prediction for a good 15 years. Most of us laughed on his statement and would inform the Pandit's story to one and all.

While I at times was scared from my inner self and was reminded of Pandit's statement that this sister of mine would be snatched away from us so early. She was hardworking, intelligent, very jovial, organized and had lot of friends. She was southpaw but had a very beautiful hand writing. She was her dad's favorite girl and remained clunged to him after he reached home in the evening after office and would sleep wth him on his bed. When ever some body troubled her, she would retort and say that she is going to complain to her Dad who could fix any body. My Dad was always seen with her in his lap.

Whenever, we had some guests, she would run away to our neighbor's house and stay with 'Shanti'. At times, she would be even fed from Shanti's mom breast milk, as Shanti's younger brother 'Channi' of 5-6 years of age was still being fed on her. She would return to our house only after the guests had left us.

Amarjit Kaur 4 in Simla

My Dad affectionately called her 'Amru Nithawan' just symbolizing the Third Guru Amar Dass ji. Perhaps he was blessing her a long life like Guru Amar Dass Ji. (I am told many Gujaratis are ardent followers of Guru Amar Dass Ji and are keeping his pictures all the times for getting a blessing of long age. Third Guru of Sikhs, Shri Guru Amar Dass Ji is believed to have lived 90+ years). Certainly, she is healthier than other sisters who are younger to her in age though. Pandit's astrology failed against the blessngs of our Dad.

She is the one who first time ever started addressing me as 'Kakaji'. The Kakaji is singular in meaning and is not like Kaka Ji. It is addressed to your elder brothers as per the tradition in Multan. My sisters after her also address me the same way. May be this is the last generation to be addressed like this. This word has since been replaced by ' Vir Ji'.

Only daughter of Amarjeet and Amrit Dhir, Jasleen happily carrying her son Nihal and Gobind who is tilting her neck with his weight. Nihal and Gobind are best cousins ever born. May Waheguru bless them always like this