I am reminded of this when our angers were rising and the level of hatred was its peak, my revered grandma would appear from no where and table out her judgement to forgive the erring party. Her suggestion would even frustrate us more. Keeping in view the matter was insignificant generally, we the kids would laugh it out.
But for more serious conflicts she would apply the same formula and it did at times divert our minds bringing calm. Unfortunately most of the times we were rather upset with her and challenge her to confront the wrong doer. It was, indeed, very difficult to forgive an erring party. She would continue to follow this odd pursuit invariably.
"Aree Balli Maph Cha Kar" was her favorite sentence she would utter in our colloquial language. With passing of age and accumulating wisdom, I have starting understanding the formula and applying the same in life.
Many times I am enraged and enraged with my own close relatives for their utter and partial decisions to involve me. My grandmother blissful formula does work and brings peace and tranquility with in me.
My friend Dr JP Singh sent me a beautiful article on recent killings in a Church of black people when the relatives and friends forgave the killer to pursue peace rather defending revenge. The victor is always the Peace.
| ‘I forgive you’ does not work in India |
Without hate and revenge, our lives would lack all ‘namak mirch’. By Sabita Bhatti |
The US does it again. When it knows that the world's eyes are on it, it should not set a bad precedent. Especially in India, where we flaunt on social media when we travel to the US or when we gloat with our friends "humare bacchae to US main padhate hai".
The trigger of my outrage is the mass shooting on 17 June at a church in downtown Charleston, South Carolina, United States. Nine blacks were killed in an alleged hate crime. It's ok till here. What shocked me was the reaction of the victim's families. The relatives of most of the victims in their anguish, pain and tears had only one thing to say to the suspect shooter: "I forgive you." All of them wanted Love to win. And Hate to lose.
My body was on fire. How could this happen? Hate is our very existence. It motivates us, it eggs us on to slight somebody, it keeps us focused and passionate, and it makes us oblivious to all the goodness around us. So what were these people talking about forgiveness and love? Can you imagine Sholay without the revenge angle? There would be no story. Can you imagine a film hero picking up his bags after his wife's murder and saying, "I forgive you"? That would be treacherous. What would our filmi heroes do without the dollop of getting back at the perpetrators of crime? And how frustrated our Gabbars and Mogambos would be if there's no reaction to their evil deeds! I guess 99% of our films would never have been made.
The worst hit would be our politicians. They are the best orators in our country, provoking people to polarise. Provoking people to take sides in the name of religion, caste, gender and money. The more hatred they spread, the more they can relax. I'm dismayed that if we let this "I forgive you" virus to even enter in our minds, our politicians will be mute spectators. Because all their life they have not heard about, "live and let live".
And what about our Punjabi munde? Every time somebody whizzes past their car, or doesn't give their crazily driven car way, you are stopped very respectfully and given the beating of your life with our national stick — the hockey stick. Imagine them saying every time a car passes them, "Chad do ji. Jaan do enhana nu." My God, Punjabi masculinity at an all time low.
Our courts too would become museums. No disputes about property, about murder, about arson, about cheating. Life would be without any namak mirch. And the worst hit would be the self-styled godmen. No sermons, no more lectures on love and compassion. So, they would have to cover their nakedness and start sorting through employment news.
Guys, this India will be an unfamiliar India. I don't want it. When hate, deception, revenge, selfishness is almost becoming our national character, why should we try aping other countries by talking about love, compassion and forgiveness?
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop, and got out to investigate. "Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man. "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "Oh, well, you can come with me to my house," instructed the lawyer. "But, Sir, I have a wife and two children with me." "Bring them along," replied the lawyer. He turned to the other man and said: "You come with us too." "But I have a wife and six children," the second man answered. "Bring them as well," replied the lawyer. They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you." The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll love my place; the grass is almost a foot tall."
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