Recalling Our First Date

Our First Meeting After the Engagement

On our Ring ceremoney!

Once the Roka and engagement were done, on a pleasant October evening in 1971, it finally became possible to meet the girl Harvinder ji, in private. That was the custom in those days: after the formal alliance, a meeting could be arranged.

Fortunately, one of her uncles had a telephone at home. Telephones were rare then, you could travel miles without finding one in a private residence. Only families with a business sometimes had a phone line at home. Through that fortunate connection, I was able to speak with her. I told her I wanted to take her out for a coffee, and everyone agreed.

Harvinder at the time of Engagement

Of course, there had to be a proper excuse for our little outing. Harvinder now reminds me that the story given to her mother’s family was that she was being taken out to see different colleges for her further studies. Later, her family members actually asked her which institutions had been visited!

So, the very next day, I quietly bunked office. My lunch, as always, was packed from home and tucked into the diggy of my scooter. Instead of eating it at work, I rode all the way from R K Puram to Karol Bagh to pick her up. From there, we rode together to Connaught Place.

Part of Connaught Place almost looked barren in early 1970s

Connaught Place in those days was the fashionable heart of Delhi. The grand central park lay at its core, surrounded by the imposing buildings of A to F block inside the circle, with the remaining blocks on the outer circle. After parking the scooter, we went straight to the grassy lawns of Central Park for our first meeting.

Sitting there, I opened my lunchbox and shared my food with her. That simple gesture became a lifelong habit. Even today, after more than five decades together, I always share my food with her.

Espresso Coffee.

After the meal, I had planned to ask her directly if she was comfortable with this alliance. But the moment never came. I felt it was too soon, perhaps too bold, and I could not bring myself to ask.

Instead, I decided to extend the day. We walked into one of the fancy coffee shops in the Inner Circle. In those days, having coffee in an upscale fine restaurant was a rare luxury for middle-class families like ours. We had been uprooted by Partition, and life was still about rebuilding. Eating in restaurants was a big treat, something almost unimaginable. But that day, it felt right.

We sat, ordered coffee, and talked—light conversation, gentle silences, and shy glances. There was no touch, no bold moves, just the quiet excitement of a first date. I never did ask the question I had rehearsed in my mind.

Afterward, I dropped her back at her aunt’s place. That was the end of our very first meeting, our very first coffee together.

The next day, Bai Ji, her grandmother, decided to send her back to Ajmer immediately. She feared that if we met too often, we might unknowingly quarrel or develop misunderstandings before the wedding, which could put the alliance at risk. So, despite the holidays, she was sent away.

And so, my first and only “date” before marriage ended—with a packed lunch, a cup of coffee, and a shy silence.

On our Golden Jublee!

But perhaps that was enough. Sometimes, the smallest beginnings create the strongest bonds.