On My 54th Anniversary

My memorable Anand Karaj picture

Last night, I had a beautiful dream.

My grandchildren, Gobind, Jania and Geet, were sitting around me when one of them asked:

This photograph was taken at the time of my betrothal. From that day onward, I kept it close to me in my wallet. It marked the moment when the seed of a lifelong bond of love and commitment was first planted, a bond that, with time, continued to grow and flourish.

“Dada Ji, you and Dadi Ji have been married for 54 years. How could you keep loving the same person for so long?”

I smiled, looked at Harvinder and replied:

“Who told you I have been loving the same person for 54 years? I have fallen in love with many different Harvinders.”

They looked puzzled.

The signature photo on a boat when on a honeymoon in Nainital lake in Sep 1972

Forty years later, back where our honeymoon began in Nainital Lake, same place, same togetherness, a lifetime of memories in between.

I explained.

I first loved the beautiful young Harvinder with whom I began my married life.

Then I fell in love with Harvinder the mother, as I watched her lovingly raise our son Shiv.

On our First Anniversary, a picture taken by my Jija Ji 

Raising Shiv was a thrill to enjoy! In lake Ulsoor, Bangalore.

A High School Valedictorian from Silver Creek High San Jose in 1992, poses with proud parents.

Later, I discovered Harvinder the partner, standing shoulder to shoulder with me through the challenges and responsibilities of life.

As a CFO of my software consulting company worked hands in gloves with me to raise a successful modern company and in the process filed for about 250 high tech and experienced engineers from UK, Singapore and India. A glimpse of comp organization chart.

When we came to America and started afresh, I discovered yet another Harvinder. She worked hand in glove with me as we built a successful business in the IT industry and later expanded our interests into other businesses, investments and ventures in India and the United States.

A playful brother and sister with an amazing bond. I have hardly ever seen them quarrel, always teasing, laughing, and enjoying each other’s company

Snow time in Lake Tahoe

Raising beautiful children has been the greatest gift of God on us.

Then came Harvinder the grandmother. While continuing to support our ventures, she helped Shiv and Shilpy raise Gobind, Jania and Geet, particularly while Shilpy pursued her demanding full-time career in the IT world.

In Pahalgam 1982

Had a lot fun time traveling together all over the globe, Blue Mountains, Sydney.

And today, after 54 years, I love yet another Harvinder, the woman who understands my silences, shares my memories, advises me in our affairs, worries about me, laughs with me and continues to walk beside me.

My grandchildren listened quietly.

Los Vegas - a moment that became a lifeline.

Then I told them:

“That is the lesson I want you to remember. A long marriage is not about loving the same person in exactly the same way for fifty years. Neither of you remains the same.”

Your partner will become a spouse, perhaps a parent, a professional, a caregiver, a grandparent and, eventually, your oldest friend.

Enjoying the roll of Sardar and Sardarni with a sweet dish in Badbar in May 2026, we stood together with courage and determination to reclaim our family farmland encroached for many decades away.

The secret is to recognize and fall in love with each new person your companion becomes.

I suddenly woke from my dream and looked at Harvinder beside me.

Jania’s 18th - a special treat 

I smiled.

Perhaps my grandchildren had given me the question, but 54 years of life with Harvinder had already given me the answer.

In the midst of flowers

Love does not remain young by remaining unchanged. It remains young by discovering each other again and again.

.Juhu Beach , Mumbai in 2025. Standing together at the edge of the ocean, looking toward the far horizon. Without looking back, we carry the strength of our journey and move forward, hand in hand, toward new horizons and our next adventure.

That is the lesson I would like Gobind, Jania and Geet to carry forward and someday pass on to the generations after them.

Memories That Keep Me Engaged

​

“Your vivid memories of Kathmandu and nearby places connected with the birth and childhood of Shiv are remarkable.

Best wishes and regards

Harbhajan Singh Shan”

Thank you for your above kind words about my memories of Kathmandu and the places connected with Shiv’s birth and early days.

I am always trying to keep myself meaningfully occupied. Instead of indulging in other people’s affairs, I prefer to look inward to think, remember, reflect, and write about my own life and experiences. It takes a surprising amount of time, but that is perhaps the beauty of it. My memories keep me engaged, and writing gives them a more permanent life.

Above all, I feel fortunate to have the encouragement of brilliant and accomplished friends like you. Your appreciation and ideas make this journey even more enjoyable, and I am proud to have you with me.

Best wishes and warm regards,

The Place Where Shiv was born

​Returning to Shiv’s Birthplace After 45 Years

In 2019, as Shiv reached his 45th year, Harvinder and I decided to revisit Kathmandu and Lalitpur—the place where he was born and where some of the most precious memories of our young family began.

Shiv just 9 days in Hospital

Shiv was born at Shanta Bhawan Hospital, Sanepa, Lalitpur, on the night of March 10, 1975, when Mahashivratri was being celebrated. The hospital had been established in 1954 by the United Mission to Nepal, with pioneering missionary doctors such as Dr. Bethel Fleming. It operated from a rented old Rana palace called Shanta Bhawan, named after its owner, Shanta Shumsher JB Rana, son of former Prime Minister Juddha Shumsher JB Rana.

Newly renovated Gurdwara Sahib at Patan. A Gurus Rumala after Ardaas at this Gurdwara was brought and Nani Ma then wrapped the first worldly cloth around Shiv. 

In those days, Shanta Bhawan was one of the highly regarded hospitals in the Kathmandu Valley, with an international team of doctors and patients that included members of the royal family, diplomats and senior officials. Harvinder had a particularly difficult pregnancy and was under the care of Dr. Eldridge, a gynecologist who had been transferred there from Christian Medical College, Ludhiana.

I was then working on the Trishuli hydroelectric project, about 70 miles from Kathmandu. Because of the difficult pregnancy and Shiv’s birth, I took 59 days of leave to remain with Harvinder, while her parents also came and stayed in Kathmandu to support us.

Shiv in my lap to the delight of Harvinder

Nine days after Shiv was born, I went to Patan town nearby and persuaded a professional photographer to come to Shanta Bhawan Hospital. He photographed me holding our newborn Shiv, with Harvinder beside her. That photograph became a treasured historical record of the beginning of our little family.

Shiv 30 days at ‘Photo Concern’ New Road Kathmandu

When Shiv was about a month old, we returned for his pediatric check-up. It was mid-April and becoming warm. We then went to a well-known photography ‘Photo Concern’ studio on New Road for another professional family portrait. 

A close up of the ‘Photo Concern’ Studio.

Afterwards, we stopped at a small restaurant nearby and ordered a Coca-Cola. Little Shiv tasted Coke for the first time through a straw. He became so excited, kicking his tiny legs and wanting more, that we finally gave him almost a spoonful. It was a tiny incident, yet somehow it remained fresh in my memory for the next 45 years.

Corner street side restaurant where Shiv had his first taste of Coke.

When Harvinder and I returned in 2019, I suddenly spotted that old photography shop on New Road.

“This is the shop where we brought Shiv for his photograph,” I told her.

Iconic photo of 30-day Shiv among his delighted parents.

She was not quite sure, so we went inside. The young man there confirmed that the establishment was indeed around 70 years old. Naturally, the people running it had changed, but the old photography business had survived. I was thrilled to find this little landmark of our family history still standing and photographed it for our records.

Newly transformed Shanta Bhawan Heritage building now.

Shanta Bhawan itself had changed completely. In 1982, the hospital merged with Lalitpur District Hospital and moved to a much larger facility at Lagankhel, becoming Patan Hospital. The original Rana palace that housed Shanta Bhawan no longer exists. 

Another view of new Shanta Bhawan where Harvinder is trying to look for a room in old place where Shiv was born.

Over the decades, the old site has passed through different uses, and today the surrounding area contains modern medical, commercial and event facilities. Yet the neighborhood is still widely remembered by the old name Shanta Bhawan.

My thanksgiving gesture, after ‘Matha Teko’ I took Bava ji permission to read out ‘Hukamnama’ in Patan Gurdwara Sahib.

Our return after 45 years was therefore much more than sightseeing. We had come back as grandparents to the places where, in 1975, we had walked as young parents carrying our newborn son. The palace hospital had disappeared, the city had transformed, but remarkably the little photography shop was still there and our old photographs continued to preserve those precious days.

Places change, buildings disappear and generations move forward, but photographs and memories have a wonderful way of defeating time.